Jennifer Lopez Says She Is "Not Ok Being Alone"

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Jennifer Lopez cover's InStyle's April 2014 issue, and the 44-year-old singer/actress chatted with the mag about love, family and aging gracefully.

So is there a reason why she's seldom single? It certainly seems that way. “Look, I don’t love being alone," she tells the mag. "I don’t. I can’t beat myself up for that. What I have to do is figure out why I don’t like it. Why am I not OK being alone? And can I ever be OK facing that? In the past, love for me has always meant forever, and sure, you still nurse some of those fantasies, but I don’t try to force it anymore. I hung on to my fairy-tale ideals for a long time. But where I am now, what I’ve been through, there are no rules. There are just lots of ways it can turn out instead of just one. There are so many different kinds of happiness, not just the one you learned about when you were five years old.”

And speaking of five year olds, what does she have to say about her kids? "Emme is obsessed with makeup," she says of her young daughter. "She puts blush on her eyes, shadow on her face; it's very artistic. And she loves my shoes. She's been walking around in my heels ever since she was a year old." Sounds like trouble!

On aging in Hollywood, J. Lo says, “The turning point was a couple years ago, when the September issue of women’s magazines had cover girls that were all over 40 – Jennifer Aniston, Halle Berry, Sandra Bullock, Julia Roberts, me. It was hard not to be happy. That says something about our society. People who used to believe their life – or at least their life as a performer – was over at 28 or some ungodly age! God, when I think of myself back then, I had no idea who I was. I think I’m barely getting that under control now.”